Do You Want to Touch My Monkey?

Lynn's Subversive Monkey

This past week I was finally able to go see the Aaron Kramer exhibition at CAFAM (Craft and Folk Art Museum). I was particularly intrigued by his motto: "Trash is the failure of the Imagination" as I come from a proud family of garbage collectors. Although eventually we did move up to garage sales as my immigrant parents achieved the American dream, old habits die hard. I still can't help want to paw through my neighbor's trash on garbage day for the kind of "good stuff" only a garbage afficionado can ascertain and then storing it in my my garage, turning my garage into a fire hazard and then becoming the neighborhood pariah who is bringing the home values down when your garage is so full with junk things start spilling onto your lawn--just like my dad did. Isn't heritage a wonderful thing?

The exhibit did not disappoint. Everything was so delightfully creative and whimsical plus we had the bonus of all the Food Trucks parked outside, although the Sprinkles Van drove off early despite people pounding on the sides as it was departing. No matter, the point was the show even though I busted a nail on the van. Anyway, after going through the show, I found they had a Kinetics Kreation class taught by the artist himself! I was somewhat hesitant because they used alliteration and spelled Creation wrong (which has been a pet peeve ever since I worked in the Toy Industry and this was the methodology of naming almost every toy). However, I couldn't turn away from an opportunity to make something cool out of garbage. So I decided to take a chance, $40, a coat hanger and a old can to CAFAM this past Sunday.

Notice all the subversive details like the hat and the buttons.

You may wonder who goes to a class like this. The answer is not pretty. Kids of course, and then a bunch of "crafty" femme d'un certain d'age like myself - the latter being not so nice. Lots of creative haircuts and earth mother outfits (anything to detract from the fact our faces are beginning to drag on the ground) and a lot of talk about things like master beading and joining a craft circle. You know, the things that don't matter to you when you are young and cute. They only matter when you get older and it's the only thing that's remotely positive that defines you.

Once we were settled in, and the master beaders had identified themselves, Aaron went through how to make our Kinetic Creation and we got a simplified review on bearings, cranks and fulcrums. We were then set loose. Our class was very noisy and chattery because of all the women. So noisy I wonder if Aaron questioned the wisdom of having so many women in a class or if he is ever going to do it again. Anyway - we all started making stuff and doing the blow by blow of what we are making. Why it is important to have a narrative when you're making something I don't know, but it does make it more satisfying somehow, even if no one is listening. There were many cool things. Birds were popular, but there were some flowers, a running man, a cat head, a boat, a dancing girl with cornrows and a few very cool abstract thingys. I initially wanted to make a retro robot but I lost patience and decided to make a subversive monkey. When you turn the crank he moves back and forth and up and down.

All in all - a very, very fun class I would highly recommend. I am already saving tin cans for my next Kinetic Kreation.

Whooaaaa! It moves back and forth!

Not Selling It

Found this ad in the paper the other day and these guys are clearly not McLovin' their photo op. For some reason, I find this incredibly funny especially the ambivalence on their faces.

Rose Bowl Float Viewing

This was one of three floats I liked
(Kaiser Permanente's "Magnificent Tales of Health").

This weekend my husband and I went to see the Rose Bowl Floats. The best thing is that after you go once you actually never have to go again because you can say - "I already went once." The bad things include you have to go on a shuttle to the "viewing" and shuttles never forebode a good time - unless it is the LA Open, it's hot like the devil with no shade, and there are a million people - a lot of them in strollers, and lastly without the context of the parade, the floats are generally disappointing results of design by committee. It starts with the basic concept being weak and the sculpts making it worser. I don't like to use the word worser often but it is really appropriate here. Not to say there weren't some good floats - and quite a few decent ones - but there are some ones that make you wonder how there was any possible way to ever get consensus on something so awfully conceived. Well, I guess if you think about the DMV it's really not so hard to believe.

What's neat though, is when you get up close - you can see the amount of work that goes into making the floats although there is always irony is using flowers to create a larger, fake looking flower.

You can only see the floats for two days and as you can see
by the poor wilted roses here, there's a reason for that.

You do have to take your hat off to the level of detail
on the floats and the personal sacrifice people made
to achieve it. Who ever glued all these seeds down will
probably never be able to look at bean soup
the same way ever again.

This float (not one of my favorites but a nice float
which photographed nicely) won an award.

One of my objections I would raise if I were the Queen Witch of the Rose Parade is to only give meritorious floats awards. At the viewing, it seemed that almost every float except the very most heinous ones won an award - except one heinous one did win an award. Plus it also seemed like a float could only get ONE award. I think this is because otherwise there are not enough awards to go around. But this just doesn't seem right to me. It's clearly not in the spirit of Capitalism and just so un-American.

Here is a detail of the Cal Poly float that depicted a lot of jungle animals getting their hair done in a salon that was run by monkeys. It was cleverly named "Jungle Cuts." It won the Bob Hope Humor Award. We thought it was really funny - we laughed and laughed and laughed. Honestly, we thought we would never stop laughing, because it was so humorous.

On a more serious note, all the monkey's looked curiously like Curious George. I am not sure if the Curious George people know about this and whether this resemblance was "by accident" or "by accident - on purpose." Perhaps the Curious George People and the Cal Poly Float People need to have a little talk.

Do we really need another float with a man with balls?

This was my favorite float by the Downey Rose Float Association called "Jewels of the Pacific". It was featured in the LA Times and is what made me want to see the floats. I thought this float was really creative. I especially liked the jellyfish - but I am always partial to jellyfish. I am even known to eat jelly fish when it is sliced thinly with some sesame oil but that is another post. The effect of this float was somewhat diminished as I overheard a gay couple getting a snapshot say afterwards - "Well we had to, they were BLOW fish after all."

This was my husband's favorite float by China Airlines called
"Taiwans Gardian - the Third Prince" (spelling courtesy of
the Chinese). He liked it because of the use of scale and movement
to create drama and majesty.

He also liked how leaves were used to create the
scales of the dragon and how they created depth.

I personally liked the wisdom in putting bicycle shorts
underneath the warrior although was somewhat disappointed
that the warrior was not anatomically correct.

Another Year Another Resolution

I am a firm believer in not making any New Year's Resolutions - except ones that I know I will keep. I mean, there are so many things I procrastinate about now - so why add one more thing to the list to end up feeling badly about not doing? That is what is behind this year's resolution. A Library Card.

Why a Library card you ask?

1. I am not a big TV watcher, in fact, I think I may actually one of the very few people in North America that can almost qualify as not watching TV "at all." This is mostly because it is too difficult to watch TV at our home. To start, we have about a thousand clickers. OK. There are not a thousand but there are at least three I am aware of. Each of them has dozens of buttons - and my understanding of their functionality is limited. They are all tiny buttons and they just don't make sense to me. I just want to turn the TV on, and change the channel and volume. Honestly, is this too much to ask? When on occasion I have actually been able to turn the TV on - the only show I want to watch - COPS (the greatest show ever made) is shockingly not always on. Hence I read.

2. Economic Reasons. I read about 2 - 3 books a week. This gets expensive, even if you, like me purchase your books used through Amazon or my favorite used bookstore, the Brand Bookshop and resell them or go to the Goodwill near my home where some book club dumps their books. I've gotten some real goodies here - including the Guernsey Potato Peel Society when it was still on the NYTimes best seller list.

3. I miss the library. When I was a kid we used to go there all the time and peruse all these great books. It's where I found Corduroy, Where the Wild Things Are and Snow White and Rose Red. Back in the day, there was a little pocket in the back of the book where they kept a sign out card that the librarian ran it through a machine at the end - which was very satisfying. Plus as kids we got to sit a this hexagonal table and each slice of the table had a little cubbie so your could stash a ton of books so the other kids with couldn't get their grimy paws on them while you were there - and no one said anything.

4. Monrovia, the town I live in, just got a new and quite handsome library, the aptly named Monrovia Public Library.

5. Library Card - that would be an easy resolution, right?

Being the doofus I am, it took me two tries to get my card. The first time, I browsed, got all my books and went to get my card at ten to closing. An aide was about to make my card until another librarian - one of those mean, pinched women who hates other women (or maybe they just hate everyone) said it takes at least 15 sometimes 30 minutes to make a card and therefore I would have to come another day. The next day was Sunday and they're closed Sundays. Isn't that weird? Shouldn't a library be open on Sundays and keep people out of mischief- especially after painting the town red Saturday night? I would think a library would be a good place to nurse a hangover, nice and quiet.

I found success the next day, Monday. This actually worked out for the best because the entire staff was happy and helpful and pinched face lady was nowhere around. After getting my books, I got my card in less than 2 minutes. Yes, they just copied my driver's license and printed it out - it may have actually taken less than 2 minutes. I wanted to say something about the mean lady but I refrained myself as it is a library and I was afraid if I did say something she would somehow appear and take my new, hard-earned, library card away from me.

Here is what I got:

Magical Thinking, Augusten Burroughs - This great. Clever, funny and yet somewhat disturbing - a mix that is very much a Burroughs signature - although in one of the true stories he kills a rat which I think is cruel. Of course, I feel homicidal toward the raccoon that killed my duck Walter even though he was an ungrateful duck, 4 of my doves and recently the goldfish in my pond.

Sellevision, Augusten Burroughs - (not yet read- and when I finish this and You Better Not Cry comes back into the Library, I will be very sad because I will have read everything Mr Burroughs has written. That is of course if he doesn't write something in the meantime and publish it immediately for my convenience in which case, I will be happy again.)

The Dead Girl, Melanie Thernstrom - I started this but I might not finish it. I read about it in the New Yorker as being "as good" as Truman Capote's In Cold Blood.

The Honk and Holler Opening Soon, Billie Letts - Letts is the author of Home is Where the Heart Is - where the mousy, overweight and pregnant protagonist was immortalized on film by Nathalie Portman - who to me is the epitome of mousy and overweight. Can you think of anyone mousier than Nathalie Portman? I certainly can't. It's just another perfect literary casting by Hollywood.

July, July by Tim O'Brien- I just finished The Things they Carried. I wanted Going after Cacciato but that wasn't in.

Heir to the Glimmering World Cynthia Ozick - because a friend Bethany has it - and I have to do everything she does.

Unaccustomed Earth, Jhumpa Lahiri - which after bringing it home I realized I read it already. These short stories are just so good you feel sad when you're done because there is no more to read.

The Botany of Desire, Michael Pollan. I think his last name should be Pollen but that's just me. I am pretty excited about this one.

I am happy to report that I not only did I accomplish my one New Year's Resolution and I also got that same feeling about hitting the motherlode when I walked out with my stack of books. Now the hard part - not dropping any of the books into water when I am reading in the bathtub.

Thanksgiving in Sedona 2009

Each Thanksgiving Fox and I make a pilgrimage to Sedona - the land of Redrocks and Polar Fleece. We use a timeshare that belongs our friends Dr. Alan Rothblatt and Dr. Sima Kahn who are both gynecological surgeons. Alan is the one who removed 24 of my fibroid tumors over a year ago. There's something poetic about that but I just can't quite put my finger on it.

As you can see from the picture above, the views are breathtaking. It's hard to take a bad picture, unless of course it is something that starts off being bad - like the sign to our timeshare below.


It's hard to pinpoint what makes this sign particularly awful but I feel most would agree it's the little painting of the mountains really takes it over the top. Surprisingly, most of the signage in Sedona is awful - not artful as you might expect. There is liberal use of turquoise and Kokopelli, use I feel should be outlawed. However, this is countered by strict regulations and ordinances. For example, there is very limited lighting permitted at night - so it gets really, really dark. As I see it you get two benefits from this: you can see stars you've only read about and you thankfully can't see the signs. This makes navigation challenging if you're from any major city where you're used to it being bright night and day, large billboards, flashing neon and someone dressed in a banana suit twirling a sign - all in the name of marketing, for the purpose of guiding you to your destination but as usual I digress.

Another surprising thing about Sedona is the scarcity of fine dining. There are a few nice restaurants - but much less than you would think. This is why I believe a Javelina took a bite out of the center of this cactus.

Isn't this cool? I love guessing what happened to the plants when we're out hiking.

Fox and I take a 3 - 4 hour hike each day we're in Sedona and this year the weather was perfect. Not too hot, not too cold--although because it is a desert it gets cold shockingly quickly. Once the sun goes down you want to be off the trail as it becomes pitch black and I mean pitch black. Not, there is a glow from the city and a street lamp (because these are no street lamps at the trails) and I can kind of see and poke my way around. No. It's like, you're absolutely going to get lost probably by walking down a wash that looks like a trail, trip on a cactus, fall on it and then end up being dinner for a Javelina--or freezing to death because you didn't wear enough layers of Polar Fleece.

Here we are. I would have included more pictures but I am ashamed because we were gross and pretty much wore the same thing everyday. This became somewhat unpleasant on our sixth day.

We're wearing hats in honor of our Dermatologist Dr Alex Khadavi. He'd probably be pleased to know there were lots more hats on the trails in general this year. I think it's because people are becoming more aware of the perils of sun damage.

Me.

Fox.

These are my favorite gloves. I like to wear them
because I think if people see me hiking with them on
they know not to mess with me. And why, yes this is another day
even though I am wearing the same clothes.

Here's Fox again. Happier because he's not shaving. And yes, this
is another day and yes he's wearing the same clothes again too.

The mountains have an obvious beauty but in the last few trips I have gotten really fascinated by how tortured the plants are - trying to grow in such a harsh environment.





Of course, nothing would be more predictable for humans than to try to improve on nature itself.

Troubling Shape
This is a small knoll near Bell Rock, a well-known vortex.
It's like a mini Bell Rock.

I love to make these piles - lots of people do. You see them all over the trails. I call them "troubling shapes" but some call them cairns and others maize. Last year, there were a bunch of people that were in a circle around this rock table and they had crystals and amulets in the center. We said hello but they didn't answer us which makes me believe they were really aliens, charging their crystals for their mother ship - similar to the movie District 9.

Path to Nowhere
Mini Bell Rock

The seed of this idea started with someone who left one stone on it's edge that Fox noted was the perfect shape for Iowa. I decided to make a long undulating (I've always wanted to use that word in a sentence) row of them. Although the concept that one stone was shaped like Iowa got lost in this new incarnation, I think it still ended up looking kind of cool.

William Recieves Junk Mail

Today, our cat William was the recipient of junk mail. How a gray cat - who doesn't even have a Social Security number got on someone's direct mail list is beyond me. Yet, I must admit, the offer is actually enticing - a 2009 Internet Income Training Conference - for both William and a guest (we haven't determined the guest will be yet but maybe one of the doves.)

By attending the complimentary Conference, William (and his guest of course) receives:

• a free lunch or dinner


• a free MP3 Player (although the stipulation is that he be at least 18 years of age or older. However, we feel this is up to interpretation as he is over 18 years old in cat years.)


• free Internet Marketing strategies.

We're not sure if we're attending quite yet. We are going to first call and see if they are serving tuna.

The Blue Jay and the Peanut

This morning when I was working on the computer, I noticed some commotion on our patio. When I looked over I saw this Scrub Jay, in a smart blue suit, white shirt front, black mask and black leggings, an outfit appropriate for today (09/09/09) where someone told me you should be dressed to the nines, with a peanut.

He was so excited about his good fortune in finding this entire unshelled peanut he was hopping all over our lawn furniture. Yet, every time he put the peanut down, you could see his worried little bird head moving side to side, assessing the angles where a marauder might sneak up and steal his prize peanut away from him.

The morning was cool and our patio is covered with an open trellis with a lazy, bright pink, Santa Barbara Bougainville climbing over it - really a perfect place for a Scrub Jay to enjoy a breakfast peanut. But I never did see him enjoy it. He nervously flitted around for about 20 minutes and then flew away with the peanut in his beak.

I think there must be some Aesop moral here about enjoying what you have at the moment., unless of course he was a thief himself. Then the moral would be completely different.